Humorous and Uplifting Quotations on the Joy of Becoming a Parent

Oscar Wilde, Irish Wit, taken in 1882.  Public Domain, Wikimedia Commons.

Oscar Wilde, Irish Wit, taken in 1882. Public Domain, Wikimedia Commons.

The Cynics 

The British, especially, excel at cynicism and irony, even though we know other nations sometimes think we are crazy. (They may be right)  But our cynicism is usually laced with humour, and it’s not an attack. We often tend to be self-deprecating because we like to have a laugh, even if it’s at our own expense.

But the Americans can do it too. See this very first quotation:

There are no premature babies, only delayed weddings. ~ American  Proverb. 

There is a mythological place where the population has remained constant some sixty years. Every time a baby is born somebody gets out of town. ~ Oscar Wilde.

Kids used to ask where they came from, now they tell you where to go. Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children, and no theories. ~ Lord Rochester, English peer.

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Oh, what a tangled web we weave

When first we practice to conceive.

~ Don Herald, writer, humorist, illustrator, 1989-1966.

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires. ~ Dorothy Parker, writer, poet and critic, 1893-1967.

Literature is mostly about having sex and not much about having children. Life is the other way around. ~ David Lodge, author.

Warnings for Writers and Artists 

These cautionary quotes are not meant to be taken too seriously, but you will need some support from your caring “others” if you’re writing a sequel to War and Peace with babies around!

With the birth of each child, you lose two novels. ~ Candia McWilliam, novelist, The Guardian, 5 May 1993. 

There is no more sombre enemy of good art than the pram in the hall. ~ Cyril Connolly, author, 1903-74, Enemies of Promise (1938).

Child Development

Perhaps these are the most perceptive words of all:

A child becomes an adult when he realizes that he has a right not only to be right but also to be wrong. ~ Thomas Szasz, author and psychiatrist, 1920, The Second Sex (1973)

There is always one moment in childhood when the door opens and lets the future in. ~ Graham Greene, novelist, 1904-91, The Power and the Glory (1940)

Parenthood and Pregnancy Quotes

If you find these lovely little sayings uplifting and fun, please feel free to add your own special favourites in the comments section of this article so that others can share them. Whether you share quotes that are funny, weird, cute or perceptive, there’s most likely someone else that shares your sense of humor.


Ratcliffe, Susan: Editor The Little Oxford Dictionary of Quotations. (1994). Oxford University Press.

Lieberman, Gerald: Editor. 3500 Good Quotes for Speakers. (1983). Thorsons Publishers Ltd.

Reader’s Digest Association Ltd: Editors. Pocket Treasury of Great Quotations. (1978). Reader’s Digest.

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